I feel that we are very hard on ourselves sometimes because there is a lot of pressure out there on mums, breastfeeding or not, co-sleeping or not, feed to sleep or not… it looks as if there is no way to win in this blame game, it doesn’t matter what you do, you will always be doing something wrong in the eyes of some “expert”… that is why I decided that we are doing what is best for us and that is it! She is growing and is happy and that is all that matters!

It’s so interesting how a bad day of naps becomes a hard time falling asleep for my baby girl! I guess it’s like when we are overtired and our body feels like crumbling and you lay in bed without being able to fall asleep but worse, because she doesn’t understand what or why is happening. My poor child! She is such a great baby though!

I miss my mum. This is her second granddaughter and she still hasn’t enjoyed her smiles and laughs and playing with her. She always says how proud and happy she is seeing me in ny new role as a mummy and I just cannot stop thinking on how much I learned from her and how much I still need to and not having her here it makes it so hard! My mother in law it’s awesome and she helps me and teach me also so much, but it’s not my mum.

Isabela is getting more and more restless when breastfeeding. I know there is a lot online about the three month growth spurt and that is normal but it does worries me that she is not eating enough. Although, sometimes when we give her formula she doesn’t eat that much then either. I think this is one of the difficulties of this lockdown, if I were to meet with other moms they would be going through the same and we could support each other. It’s so different meeting in person than sending a WhatsApp message.

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